Coming to you with sweaty palms, anxious mind, and minor heart palpitations. I gotta be real with you, Juice listener (reader? consumer? lover?) — I’ve stopped myself from sending this recording almost all day.
I recorded this message a few days back — spitballing, rambling, and riffing with just me, myself, and I in funky-looking phone booth (the only personal recording space available at my coworking space, Second Home). I thought about re-recording because it doesn’t feel eloquent enough. I hope the sacredness of my experience lands gently and safely in your body. I thought about not sending it at all because it feels too personal. I hope my vulnerability inspires you to be more vulnerable in your own life (even if it’s just a nudge more..nudges count too).
I’m letting this (imperfect) recording live in the public because it’s the truth. There’s much more truth involved…truth I will continue to share in due time. In this recording I discuss:
THE DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL
what it is, what it isn’t, and what it could mean for your soul’s expansion and healing
PLANT MEDICINE CEREMONIES
how to treat them, when to participate, when to not
INTEGRATION OF KARMIC LESSONS
why this is the most important and long-forgotten part of the process
DEATH AND REBIRTH PROCESSES
the painful and maddening process of letting go and leaning on faith
MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE
lived in experience of what happened, what I moved through, and what I learned
WHAT HELPED ME
resources and wisdom of what got me through it and helped me heal in the dark
I share my experience with caution and discernment — I’m not promoting plant medicine ceremonies as the answer to ‘fix’ yourself nor am I dramatically disillusioned that you will experience a dark night of the soul. You might, you might not. You might just be in a mild season of change and transition. I’m hesitant to put the language of ‘Dark Night of the Soul’ to my experience (even though it’s very much what it felt like) because redirection can come in many different shapes and sizes. A redirection that is necessary for a new evolution of self. The opportunity to meet your real self.
A release of what no longer serves you.
A shedding of old skin and fitting into a more vibrant one.
The core of this messaging is: when you want to expand in life — when your spirituality deepens and you hear the murmurs of your soul speaking to you — inevitably there will be some sort of death and rebirth cycle. This process is confusing, identity-shifting, and created on its own timeline (one that is typically not chosen for us). No matter the intensity (a full-on DNOTS or the rumblings of transition and change), find comfort in the normalcy of this process.
If you can ask this question when things are hard —
“If this is my life forever — if this is just what it is now —
Can I choose it?"
Can I be in joy with it?
Can I learn to be in joy in this moment?
In the challenge.
In the complication.
In the confusion.
In the illusion.
In the existentialism?
Can I be with it?
Can I be in joy?
Can I find joy?”
That is what will give you hope.
STORYTELLING SUNDAY
There’s much more of my story I want to give you. From my plant medicine integration to all of the loss I’ve withstood (financial, relational, personal, professional), to learning the art of detachment, to spiritual self-mastery (what that really means), and to how I learned to listen, trust, and move forward. I’d like to share the miracles I’ve witnessed too. If you’re curious to hear more of my personal stories and ask me questions (no question is off the table, join me tomorrow. My heart and (virtual) door are open for you.
Through darkness there is light,
M 🧡
If this episode resonated with you, consider joining THE12 — where we practice deepening into our spiritual selves.
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